Remembering Shelley Ackerman
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I spoke a few words at my friend’s funeral and wanted to also pay tribute here.
My dear friend Shelley Ackerman passed away on February 27, 2020. Many of us know her as a brilliant astrologer, spiritual counselor and founder of Karmic Relief ®, yet she was also a singer and actress with a deep history with New York’s entertainment world.
May her memory be a blessing — to all who knew her from every part of her life.
Her loss leaves a hole in the lives of those left behind. But the stars are brighter and the heavens are luckier to have her. I can’t help but believe that she will watch over those she loves from wherever she is. As above, so below.
Shelley touched so many lives, so deeply, and for so long. She guided people with her wisdom, wit and deep insight. She told the truth — like it or not — because she wanted us all to grow and do what is right for our souls.
She had no tolerance for injustice, especially when it touched someone she loved. And she did not like being around inauthentic people. She selected her friends carefully. But she was also fiercely loyal in return.
She was so smart. She had principles and integrity. And she had such a generous spirit. She was funny and charming and fun. She was the ultimate hostess and master of the soiree.
She was also tough, brave, tenacious, passionate, bossy and did not mince words. She had strong opinions and was not one to back down. Ever. Sometimes she pressed people way beyond their comfort zone by telling the truth. Yet she was also deeply loving and compassionate. Ultimately, she sought to lift people up.
She was a force of nature, part Venusian and part Warrior Goddess. There was no one like her and there will never be.
Shelley influenced my life in so many ways. I’ve sought her professional guidance on many occasions. But I was also privy to her ongoing insights (and, strong suggestions on how to run my life) in the course our normal communication. She was part of every major life change and success, as well as heartache and healing, for so many years. She made sure I did everything important according to the most favorable astrological aspects, including signing book contracts and getting married!
She was my close friend and confidant for 29 years.
We got off to a rocky start but I quickly learned Shelley was one of the most considerate people in Manhattan.
We had a kind of “cosmic meet cute” in the city that led to our long friendship. It began when she moved into the same building. I was in apartment 208 and she was in 308, above me. Pregnant at the time with my son (who is now 28 and a half years old) I was tired a lot. I heard construction work above me one night and went upstairs to ask them to keep it down.
Shelley came to the door, wondering who the heck I was. When I introduced myself as her downstairs neighbor and told her I was pregnant and unable to rest with all the hammering noise, she apologized profusely. She felt awful and told the workers to stop. She said she would make sure they did not work into the evening, moving forward.
The next day or so she brought me a muffin from the deli next door and apologized again. She asked if the noise level was okay. We talked a little and I discovered she was an astrologer. She asked me my due date and assessed I may have a Libra, like her, on my hands. As it turned out, my son made his entrance 6 days after Shelley’s birthday.
He had health challenges when he was born and I was consumed with trying to help him get through the first months of life and get him home from the hospital. It was terrifying to watch him go through so many surgeries and procedures and to have to leave his care in the hands of medical professionals until he was stable enough for me to take care of him at home. It was a difficult time.
Shelley heard from the doorman that I’d given birth and she left me a baby gift. When I told her what was happening she immediately tried to comfort me and, of course, asked for his exact birth date and time. She must have run his chart very early because she always seemed to know about the astrological influences in his life and mine at any given time.
I brought him home from the hospital 78 days after his was born, and she would soon and forever be known as “Aunt Shelley.”
She watched him grow and become a super kid, overcoming his issues and living life despite them. She always said he was an earth angel with a special mission. She was part of my journey of raising my son. She also regularly and often pressed me to take care of myself in those care-giving years. On numerous occasions, she talked me out of self-defeating behaviors and bad decisions, or tried to help me heal from mistakes made along the way. She always encouraged me to believe in myself.
I feel very blessed that I got to see Shelley before she left us. Though she was weaker in the last days of her life, she still asked me how I was doing and how my son Alex was. And she waited for my answer. She wanted to know we were okay. That was Shelley. Still caring about how others were.
The night she passed away I dreamed a new baby was born in heaven and she was being held and embraced by a heavenly choir. I knew she was safe in the arms of a cosmic crew that was welcoming her home.
I celebrated 27 birthdays with Shelley. The first one must have been her 39th birthday celebrated in her apartment. She had the same exact apartment as me but mine was filled with baby stuff and medical gear. Hers was filled with places to sit and hang out, and it was always light and airy and smelled great. I remember her 40th birthday at a nice venue in the city and up through to her 66th birthday, last October 14, 2019. She always knew how to throw a party. She felt it was so important to honor the day of her birth and she also encouraged everyone to do the same.
She fought a hard battle against illness for several years. She did most of it privately, out of the public eye, with the intense and loving care-giving of her beloved sister Sharon and the help of her brothers Mark and Sandy. But also dear and trusted friends gathered around her, giving her back some of the abundant love she gave to others.
My mom was declining at the same time that Shelley’s illness progressed. I was my mom’s caregiver so Shelley and I kept in touch by phone and email, as I could not make it into the city for many visits. When my mom passed away, there were many months of clearing out my childhood home and dealing with legal and family stuff. Soon as I fulfilled my responsibilities to my family I went to see Shelley in the hospital a few times. But I was severely burnt out and had not really had the time to grieve for my mom.
She said this: “You need to take care of yourself. And I do not want to be a reason that you do not take care of what you need now. I won’t allow it.”
That was Shelley, always insisting I make self-care a priority.
I will miss you.
I want to say rest in peace, my friend, because you fought so hard for so long, and you deserve the rest and the peace and to be free of pain. I want to say, I hope you sing every day, every moment, in the heavens. But I know you are a fighter and somehow I believe this will remain wherever you may be. For all the generosity and healing you have bestowed upon others, may you have a beautiful journey. I want to say thank you for all you have given me in so many ways. I love you.
I know Shelley did not want to leave her siblings. I send my deepest love and sympathies to Sharon, Mark and Sandy for they lave lost a cherished sister, and also a friend and family matriarch. I know that Shelley would want all those who knew and loved her to stay connected.
A special thank you and love to Sharon Ackerman and Amy Cunningham who kept me in the loop even when I couldn’t be there and for creating such a beautiful funeral service. And to my husband Victor Fuhrman who made sure I had a chance to say goodbye to my dear friend.
